The two things I’m really great at, aren’t I?
Also the two reasons I haven’t written in a while.
Procrastination is just another kind of laziness.
But since it has its own legit word and so many people proudly proclaim (alliteration alert) that they do it (declaring that they put the “pro” in “procrastination”) (And yes, I’m one of them) I wasn’t considering it to be a sirius problem.
In fact, I wasn’t considering it to be a problem at all.
I used to quite enjoy the mindless wandering around the internet reading “10 Mind blowing facts you didn’t know about…” and taking quizzes like “Which Disney Priness Are You?”
Lately I’m starting to get sick of it.
You wouldn’t believe me if I told you about the sheer amount of work that needs to be done- and I haven’t done.
Some of the things are so tiny, they don’t even matter, like messaging a friend and asking her about that thing that’s been on my mind and she might know something about.
Some of them are important things.
And then there’s the stuff that I’ve given myself a deadline for- like writing a blog post about so-and-so topic for instance.
But I simply don’t do them.
After a while it doesn’t matter.
I don’t have to do them anymore.
I don’t think that counts as procrastination.
The not doing of something at all and it suddenly just disappearing from the To-Do.
I’m not exactly sure why I rambled on about it but I needed to. It has been on my mind too much and it has been bothering me.
That’s another thing- Rambling.
A while ago I realized that I rambled too much.
Out of everything I ever said/ wrote, little or nothing constituted anything of much importance.
Since then I decided to avoid doing it- as much as possible.
Since then I’ve been trying to write blog posts that actually say something of importance, or something that might help someone or, quite simply, at least prove to be a good read.
As you might notice, not only have I not succeeded in writing any such thing but I have pretty amazingly succeeded in not writing anything on the blog at all.
A few days ago I again realized how useful even the rambling was- because back then I was completely incapable of that as well.
Suddenly I realized that, while not something to be really proud of or something to especially flaunt, I did have a gift.
That of being able to put into words everything I wished to say.
Words are simply flowing when I ramble (duh! That’s why it’s called rambling), I need not think a lot about what exactly I wish to convey when I’m on a roll.
And it’s a good feeling- that rambling.
Some of the people I know who write can’t do that.
They say they need to think a lot.
They feel like there’s a barrier in their head which slowly transmits each sentence to the front of their brain (writers’ block? I’m not sure- because that isn’t a permanent state of mind, is it? And slow writing isn’t writers’ block, obviously).
When I couldn’t write a word, that’s when I realized how much that rambling was helping; because if nothing,I was writing something, and at least 9% of it all turned out to be halfway decent.
And funny thing that happened is, because I didn’t allow myself to ramble (as much as I could help it) I ended up talking too much where otherwise I’d say only half the things I did.
So here’s what I learnt from my rambling session today:
• Find out ways to stop procrastinating- without googling “How not to procrastinate” (God! What do I do though, if not that?)
• Encourage healthy and productive rambling (yeah, even I’m not exactly sure what I mean by that)
I know there’s a thing called “productive procrastination” as well, but I’d rather just do the things that I’m supposed to do.
When I said I ended up not writing at all, it wasn’t exactly true.
I wrote a bit of fiction here and there. I also wrote a few things regarding how I felt about a few things.
But none of the short stories are complete and most of the feelings stuff is only meant to begin with “Dear Diary” and stay there, and hence I can’t share it here.
(Although really, this little something I wrote is so good I almost want to share it.)