Because randomness is the way to go! ;)

I just had an epiphany – if I can call it that.
So, noticed how I haven’t been blogging for a while now?
I think I finally figured out the real reason.

There was supposed to be a comeback post (consider this it, BTW) where I’d tell you exactly how busy and preoccupied I was, and how those are the reasons why.
While those are at least partly the reasons, I think the real reason is that I couldn’t write because, ever since I’ve started blogging, I’ve been in a very good place in my life.
Even though there have been really bad phases, they never interfered with my blogging psyche (is that a thing?).
I’ve always blogged about this happy stuff, funny and entertaining stuff.

I’ve come across as this confident girl who knows her shit even when she doesn’t know it. (I mean, I think so..?)

Suddenly though- and this is going to sound extremely dramatic- my entire life has fallen apart.

That’s true.
I have lots of stuff to figure out (which I hope I’m doing in the correct manner).
I’m in a place where I’ve never been before.
I’ve been kicked out of my comfort zone and I can’t complain because I know this is necessary.
I need to stop being complacent. I have quite possibly been complacent all my life.
But ‘complacent’ is a very negative word, maybe it was just ignorance coupled with a teeny bit of complacency? I don’t really know.

Anyway, I might write more about all that later- it’s too vast a topic to be talking about as digression.

The point is, because of all of that, I haven’t been feeling confident about anything in my life right now.
I have nothing that I can take for granted.
When my own thoughts are so jumbled, how am I supposed to post them on my blog for the world to read?!?

I need to be in a happy place to be writing anything.
I can’t write about sad or depressing things. About my own life or even fiction, I think.
That’s the epiphany, basically.
To summarise it in two parts:
1. I am in a completely weird state of mind right now, a place I’ve never been before, because of which I can’t write.
2. I can only write about happy, nice things. I cannot write about pain and sadness.
Also, I cannot write when I’m sad (this isn’t exactly true, but for now, it’s good enough)
Why I am like that is a completely different and long story for another day.

So yes, now that I have figured this out maybe I can work it out and make some real progress.
Hopefully I’ll get back to blogging soon because I honestly love it and do not want to quit.


Comments on: "An Epiphany… Of sorts!" (3)

  1. It’s hard to hear that you’re in a rough patch right now. As much as I want you to be happy, these things take time. I hope it doesn’t take too long though!

    It is good to read that you’re not leaving the blogisphere (I got really excited when I saw you posted something after such a long hiatus) and I agree that writing when sad is difficult.

    But I sort of feel like that is the goal of writing: to put into words that which seems impossible to put into words. Emotions are always the tricky bit, and almost no one gets them right.

    All the same, wishing you all the best and hoping things get better soon! (Expect a long delayed email in the near future.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Was going through some of my posts when I saw that you had commented here, I never replied (I don’t even remember if I had seen this before..)
      But yeah, thank you for being there.
      It does mean a lot to me!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You have been nominated for Versatile Blogger award! 🙂
    Head on over!


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