Because randomness is the way to go! ;)

Posts tagged ‘Funny’

I won an Award but this is just puns and gifs really

(Look who’s finally gotten around to doing this)

Special thanks to Leanna at Short Story Long Blog for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award!

It has been a while since I did the Leibster so I was really excited to do it (And the questions are so cool) 😀

The rules for the Sunshine Blogger Award are:

* Answer the 11 questions from the blogger who nominated you.
* Nominate some wonderful bloggers and write 11 questions for them to answer.

My answers to Leanna’s questions:

1. Who is your favourite Youtuber?

I don’t even have to think about this. 
The vlogbrothers. 
No competition whatsoever.

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2. You have been captured! The protagonist(s) of the last book you read is coming to your rescue. What are your chances of survival?

100%

The last book I  finished reading was the second book in the How to Train your Dragon series. So that would mean Hiccup and Toothless are coming to rescue me! Consider me rescued.

But also, I’m currently reading a huge-ish book called Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality. 
It is a fanfiction, and it is brilliant.

Harry is smarter than Hermione. He is raised by good stepparents. He reads a lot- by that I mean, A LOT.
If this Harry was coming to rescue me, he’d probably ensure that I never get captured in the first place. That’s how much of a genius he is. 
Like I said, it is huge and I’m still reading it, but all you Harry Potter fans out there (and a lot of you follow this blog too): Read this! Highly recommended!

[Shout out to my new-ish friend who made me aware of the existence of HPMoR and who knew that it was just the kind of thing I’d like to read. 
Also a shout out to her for understanding all my feels about the book.]

3. What is your favourite pun?

Could I change the question to “What is your favourite kind of joke?” And then answer with “the kind with clever puns in it”?

No?

Well okay.
Then I’ll do what I do every time I can’t choose, and list as many as I can find.

Ready? Here I go:

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4. What was your favourite cartoon as a kid?

The most my brain can go back is to remember ‘Recess’ which was a cartoon series on Disney and I loved it, and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t marathon it today if given a chance.

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I also loved love Phineas and Ferb, but I think I was already at least 12 by the time I started watching it. 
So, while I now think I was a kid back then, my 12 year old would take some major offence at being called a kid.

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5. Favourite book-to-movie adaptation?

Ermmm…. Harry Potter?

The movies aren’t without their own faults and they could obviously have done lots of things differently but the entire series is so much more to me now that I can’t not watch the movies whenever they’re on TV. 
I say this all the time actually. 
I should either find another answer, or a different way to put it.

Harry Potter is always a cop-out answer anyway.

6. When you were a kid, what did you tell people when they asked you what you would be when you grew up?

Doctor, I think? For a while it was “Doctor”. 
Although not the Gallifreyan kind- I wish kid-me was that smart for having watched Doctor Who at the age of 5 or whatever.

After the Doctor phase it was scientist. I had my heart set on being a scientist all through childhood, and for a little while as a teenager too. 
I don’t remember when exactly I stopped wanting to be a scientist- but it was around the time I was taught electromagnetism and things like that in physics and I couldn’t comprehend a word of it all… Around this time I had also started taking my reading and writing seriously so then somehow the scientist thing wasn’t too difficult to let go of.

7. What’s your favourite bridge?

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8. Do you listen to podcasts? Which ones?

Currently? None.
 
Usually? DEAR JOHN AND HANK!!!!

And a bunch of others, but none of them regularly.

9. What’s your favourite dish to cook?

I don’t really cook, but recently I have started to, a bit.
I like making mashed potatoes or French Fries. Truth is, I love eating them so I don’t mind cooking them as well. And for one thing, I’d never rely on my mother to make mashed potatoes just the way I like them.

[Update: A day after I typed out this answer and saved it as a draft, my mother made mashed potatoes because I was feeling too lazy, and they were the best mashed potatoes I’ve ever had. So guess who’s going to be making the mashed potatoes henceforth?]

10. What was your least favourite class in high school?

P.E.

11. Favourite thing on your bookshelf?

The books, really.

Hahaha…

Most priced possessions would probably be the Harry Potter set, and my signed copy of Gavin Aung Than’s Zen Pencils book (never miss a chance to mention it).

My nominations are:

1. Diary of an Introverted Schmuck
2. Anything and Everything
3. Freedom and Inspiration
4. The power of Dreams
5. The Writing Hufflepuff
6. Something Else
7. BABYSTEPS22
8. Fandom Addict
9. The Vocal Wallflower
10. My Tiny Obsessions
11. The World Past Me

If you’re reading this, and wish to do this challenge and answer my awesome questions, but I haven’t nominated you, this is for you! Consider yourself nominated! Go on, do it! 😀

My questions for you lovelies are:

1. Did you listen to the Hamilton soundtrack? 

2. If your answer to that question is Yes (or ‘OMG YES!’ preferably), which are your favourite songs (I know it’s impossible to choose just one), favourite character, favourite voice to listen to? Go on! Fangirl/ fanboy!!

If your answer to that question is No, what exactly are you even doing with your life?! 
While that question started out rhetoric, now I’m curious. What’s happening? What’s new? What are you excited about in the short term? Tell me.

3. Do you have any tattoos? Would you like any (more)? Describe them. 
If no, why not?

4. If you were a Greek God (or Goddess) what would you be the God of?

5. Why do you think cats can’t fly?

6. If you could hop into a time machine right now, where would you go, past or future? When and where, specifically, and why?

7. Which is your favourite book cover? Why? (Of course attach a picture!)

8. What is your comfort food?

9. Tell me a funny and/or cute story from your childhood. (You can and should ask your parents for help in this one!)

10. Which F.R.I.E.N.D.S. character are you?
(Take this Buzzfeed quiz and post a screenshot of your answer!)

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I'd say I did good, wouldn't you?

11. *Bonus question space!* What question do you wish I had asked you? Ask yourself it and then answer.

Good Luck to everyone who was nominated for having undertaken the task of answering questions, nominating people, and finding 11 questions for them!

May the 4th be with you!
(I am posting today- couldn’t give up on the opportunity!)

Edit: Do put a pingback to this post and/or comment with your blog link here so I can go check out your answers! I may act all chill here but I’m so excited to read all the answers. 😛

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I’m going onions over here

I wrote this two weeks ago but did not post it for whatever reasons, one of them being that I thought it was kinda silly and onions don’t really sting that much, do they? A few minutes ago, all I did was cut 4 onions in half. That’s all- in half.

Yes. They do.
They do sting that much.

A lot more than what I have described.

So here you go:

Last night my mother left me alone and I was forced to cook food, to ensure my survival.
Invariably, as so many of them do, the dish I cooked required me to chop onions.

Now see, I don’t really have an opinion on the chopping of onions. It is one of those utterly irrelevant things I do in my life.
Which is why I never even have any gum on hand whenever I am faced with the daunting task of cutting an onion so I can devour its little fleshy pieces which will add taste to my food.
(Chewing gum helps you not cry. Mad science, isn’t it?)

I go through life not thinking about chopping onions.

Unless I’m doing it, and then it won’t let me think of anything else, as much as I’d like to.

Years of onion-chopping had prepared me for the onslaught and pain that would follow. 
What I always underestimate though, is how quickly after you let the knife touch the onion, your eyes start stinging. 
One stroke to the onion, and the tears flow like a sword was swung through Ned Stark’s head.

All the tears compelled me to reevaluate every single one of my life choices leading upto this point in my life.

And then, I couldn’t help but wonder about the life choices of the person, the first human being on this earth, who thought eating onions would be a good idea.

No but really, think about this:

Here’s a small round object that I found after digging up the ground.

(That’s not shady enough already)

It came from a plant, so maybe it is edible. From my previous experience I have realised that not all of the things I find from plants tend to be edible.

Let me try to get rid of this annoying and crackling skin that’s covered with dirt, maybe there’s a soft fleshy part inside.

Oh yes indeed there is….

Aah let me break this into smaller pieces to facilitate their entry into my mouth.

(I’m assuming the person wasn’t so stupid- or adventurous- as to literally bite into a thing that nobody he knew had ever eaten, so far in his life)

Oh my God!!! My eyes!! 
They’re burning!!!

Water is flowing through them and I don’t like this one bit!!! 
Oh no oh no oh no!

Let me go splash some water on my eyes and hope that they survive this, which is, and shall forever be, the worst experience of my life!

*drops onion pieces on the ground and runs to fetch water, from like a stream or whatever*

*comes back feeling slightly better but not really, because HAVE YOU EVER CUT AN ONION? THE TRAUMA LASTS FOR MONTHS*

Aah yes. 
My eyes feel considerably better. Can’t say the same about my heart though. 
This experience will haunt me for several full moons.

Just holding these pieces of new, round object have caused me to break down like I never have before.

*slowly sits on the ground near the fallen onion pieces*

You know what I’m gonna do?

*picks one up*

I’m gonna pop it into my mouth! 
Let’s see how that goes!

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In other news, I googled 'sexy onion' just to see if anything came up, and I was not disappointed!

A Conversation with Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres is awesome!
For this month’s Book Blogging Challenge Thingie I read ‘Seriously… I’m Kidding’ by Ellen DeGeneres and let me tell you- I love her!

Not that I didn’t before, I always did.
But I realized that I connect better with people when I read something they’ve written- whether a blog/ essay/ short story or even a fiction novel.

That’s what happened with Ellen DeGeneres as well.
And her book was about herself for the most part, so that was an added bonus.

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I especially love the format of the book.
It doesn’t feel like you’re reading a book, it seems like Ellen is talking to you (see? We’re on first name basis now!).
The book is a 200 page long (albeit one-sided) conversation.
Most parts of the book are really funny and witty.
Some of them are hilarious.

“She [her wife, Portia] has every kind of lotion there is— and there’s a lot. There’s lotion for your face, lotion for your hands, lotion for your feet, lotion for your body. Why? What would happen if you put hand lotion on your feet? Would your feet get confused and start clapping?”

This quote is the first one that made me laugh out loud. I laughed for two whole minutes before I continued reading.

She makes sure that everybody can read her book- not just a specific demographic.
And how does she do that?

Well, she has put in a text message for all the teenagers (Oh God! After trying and failing to read that message, I realized that I’m no longer a teenager), a short bedtime story for the kids and also, pictures to colour in for the kids (I was reading the e-book so I sadly couldn’t colour in them. But it was tempting, so I decided that maybe I’m a child who hasn’t entered her teens yet- now that’s a thought right?)

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Ellen is great at making you look at things differently.
Here’s an example:

“It is exciting to find out what our roots are. Knowing where we come from explains so much about who we are. Plus, it gives us so many more people to borrow money from.”

One chapter in the book basically consists of this:

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Make of that what you will!

Recently I watched a few clips with Neil Patrick Harris and Ellen DeGeneres in them because I was looking for Oscar related stuff to watch (since, just like every year, I couldn’t watch the actual Oscars on the actual T.V. that I own and don’t even get me started on why), I came across these two really sweet ones.
Neil Patrick Harris and Ellen DeGeneres are two of my favourite people and they’re both very funny- and therefore, watching these videos is one the best things I did this week! 😀

I also love the fact that most sentences in the book are like “Siriusly… I’m Kidding” (I’ve been suppressing an urge to spell it like that for you don’t know how long)
By that I mean, they start out all sirius serious and are building up to a profound conclusion but oops… that was a joke!

Ellen has given a slightly different explanation for the title of the book but before I read that, this is what I thought she meant.

I had to restrict myself to adding only a few of the quotes from Ellen’s book- since too many could lead to copyright issues maybe?
I’m new to this writing-about-books-I-read-thing, so I don’t know about these technical rules but then again, I feel like Ellen won’t really mind. 😛

I highly recommend this book and, in fact, if I could, I would type out the entire book for you guys in one of my blog posts. Just to make sure you read it (yes, I’m assuming you read all my posts. Yes, that’s delusional, I know).

Before I sign off though, this one last quote, because Ellen has some brilliant ideas and in spite of not being a huge fan of reality shows, I’d pay to watch this:

“What they should do to save us all some time is combine every show into one giant reality show. Who wouldn’t watch a show about the next tap-dancing celebrity bachelor apprentice who can survive in the wilderness while singing about losing weight? Ryan Seacrest would host and we would all watch.”

The One With Chandler Bing

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is the first sitcom I started watching and I have been a fan right from the first episode. That moment when Ross says “I just want to be married again..” and Rachel enters wearing a white gown, and that’s the first time Chandler quips “And I… just want a million dollars!” That’s when I knew without a doubt that he was going to be my favourite character!

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Chandler Muriel Bing (or, as I fondly call him, Miss Chanandler Bong)! Where do I begin?

Where do you begin with someone as awesome and funny and witty and smart and lame and adorable as Chandler? And his sarcasm! Oh God! Could he BE more sarcastic??!?!?

To every British person who thinks Americans can’t imitate their acerbic wit, or that sarcasm is only a Brit thing, I wanna shove Chandler Bing into their faces!

Joey: Just because she went to Yale Drama, she thinks she’s like, the greatest actress since sliced bread. Chandler: Ah, Sliced Bread. A wonderful Lady Macbeth.

One of the best things about him is how much he loves Monica, her OCD and all.

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Earlier I used to think about him as the lame (even though exceptionally funny) guy in the group, but since this episode I started thinking of him as, well, a guy!

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I don’t know… he just looked really hot in it- with that unbuttoned shirt and everything. Hehe….

No pictures do him justice though. Gifs simply come close to capturing the essence of this person that we know as Chandler Bing (his parents really did take away his chances, with a name like that, didn’t they?).

What comes the closest to describing him are, of course, his very own quotes, and honestly, would you rather I rambled or had Chandler advocate himself and make you nostalgic about those good old days when you watched this hilarious and adorable group of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. who lived life their own way, always sticking together and taking shit from nobody? :’)

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>> You know what’s weird? Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he’s getting out of the shower, he always puts a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?

>> Handle? I can handle it. Handle is my middle name. Well, actually its the middle part of my first name.

>> Monica: Shut up. The camera adds ten pounds.
Chandler: So, how many cameras are actually on you?

>> (To Joey when he raises the idea of hitting a woman whom they thought was a stalker with a frying pan) Yes, hitting her with a frying pan is a good idea. We might want to have a back-up plan though, just in case she isn’t a cartoon!

>> Chandler: What else you got? Magazines, Diretoes… Condoms?
Joey: Hey, you don’t know how long where going to be in here. We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?

>> You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection.

>> Rachel: Guess what, guess what, guess what!
Chandler: Let’s see, the fifth dentist caved, now they all recommend trident?

>> Chandler: [Enters Central Perk Monica, Ross and Phoebe are there] Oh good, okay, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! [Hands him the 50 bucks he’s about to owe him]
Chandler: – Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your HOME planet! – And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! – And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock? [He sits down and sighs in relief]
Chandler: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

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Why DO I Blog?!?

“Why You Blog”
I think this is the most difficult prompt so far, and I’d go so far as to say, it is the toughest out of all 30.

I don’t blog because I have something to promote, my books, or my fashion line or anything of that sort.
I don’t even blog because I need to keep a track of what books I read, which is why quite a lot of book bloggers blog.
(As I’ve mentioned before, I’m horrible at writing reviews- and I don’t like reading them either.)

Basically I know that it wouldn’t matter if I didn’t blog, and that’s why I do!
That probably doesn’t make any sense.
But see, it’s like, once people start expecting something from me I feel pressurised about doing it and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to do it well and then I stop doing it! Because not doing it at all seems so much easier than doing it.
In fact, it is only the fourth day of BookBlogWriMo and I already feel like not doing it.
Not because I don’t enjoy it (I am loving it so much, to be honest) but because everyone is expecting me to post everyday. Quite a lot of my friends are keeping track of my blog and just the way I’m waiting to read my fellow bloggers’ posts about the latest prompts- I scour the BookBlogWriMo tag on WordPress everyday and see all the familiar names posting! – I feel like they’re waiting for my post too.
Suddenly it is too much responsibility!
But no, I’ve decided to do it.
Quitting is easy, doing the thing is difficult and I’m going to take the hard way.

During BookBlogWriMo I’m writing based on the prompts and sticking to the topic but otherwise you’ll notice how my blog is very random!
I blog about anything I feel like blogging about.
If I stopped doing this, I have no idea what I’d be doing with the thought traffic in my mind.
I have so many things I have to say and I don’t say them out loud because I’m not vocal like that, so I need this blog to put those things out there!

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And you want to know why I know blogging is exactly the thing for me?
Because I have got this really bad habit of quitting things and leaving them incomplete (especially stuff that requires any kind of creative input) but it has been 15 months that I’ve been blogging and *touchwood* I haven’t quit nor have I lost interest in it.
In fact I more I do it, the more I love it!

While looking for some cool pictures to put in this post, I stumbled upon this hilarious post somewhere on the internet.
Do check it out!

It has pictures like this:

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And this:

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