Because randomness is the way to go! ;)

Posts tagged ‘Musings’

I’m going onions over here

I wrote this two weeks ago but did not post it for whatever reasons, one of them being that I thought it was kinda silly and onions don’t really sting that much, do they? A few minutes ago, all I did was cut 4 onions in half. That’s all- in half.

Yes. They do.
They do sting that much.

A lot more than what I have described.

So here you go:

Last night my mother left me alone and I was forced to cook food, to ensure my survival.
Invariably, as so many of them do, the dish I cooked required me to chop onions.

Now see, I don’t really have an opinion on the chopping of onions. It is one of those utterly irrelevant things I do in my life.
Which is why I never even have any gum on hand whenever I am faced with the daunting task of cutting an onion so I can devour its little fleshy pieces which will add taste to my food.
(Chewing gum helps you not cry. Mad science, isn’t it?)

I go through life not thinking about chopping onions.

Unless I’m doing it, and then it won’t let me think of anything else, as much as I’d like to.

Years of onion-chopping had prepared me for the onslaught and pain that would follow. 
What I always underestimate though, is how quickly after you let the knife touch the onion, your eyes start stinging. 
One stroke to the onion, and the tears flow like a sword was swung through Ned Stark’s head.

All the tears compelled me to reevaluate every single one of my life choices leading upto this point in my life.

And then, I couldn’t help but wonder about the life choices of the person, the first human being on this earth, who thought eating onions would be a good idea.

No but really, think about this:

Here’s a small round object that I found after digging up the ground.

(That’s not shady enough already)

It came from a plant, so maybe it is edible. From my previous experience I have realised that not all of the things I find from plants tend to be edible.

Let me try to get rid of this annoying and crackling skin that’s covered with dirt, maybe there’s a soft fleshy part inside.

Oh yes indeed there is….

Aah let me break this into smaller pieces to facilitate their entry into my mouth.

(I’m assuming the person wasn’t so stupid- or adventurous- as to literally bite into a thing that nobody he knew had ever eaten, so far in his life)

Oh my God!!! My eyes!! 
They’re burning!!!

Water is flowing through them and I don’t like this one bit!!! 
Oh no oh no oh no!

Let me go splash some water on my eyes and hope that they survive this, which is, and shall forever be, the worst experience of my life!

*drops onion pieces on the ground and runs to fetch water, from like a stream or whatever*

*comes back feeling slightly better but not really, because HAVE YOU EVER CUT AN ONION? THE TRAUMA LASTS FOR MONTHS*

Aah yes. 
My eyes feel considerably better. Can’t say the same about my heart though. 
This experience will haunt me for several full moons.

Just holding these pieces of new, round object have caused me to break down like I never have before.

*slowly sits on the ground near the fallen onion pieces*

You know what I’m gonna do?

*picks one up*

I’m gonna pop it into my mouth! 
Let’s see how that goes!

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In other news, I googled 'sexy onion' just to see if anything came up, and I was not disappointed!

An Epiphany… Of sorts!

I just had an epiphany – if I can call it that.
So, noticed how I haven’t been blogging for a while now?
I think I finally figured out the real reason.

There was supposed to be a comeback post (consider this it, BTW) where I’d tell you exactly how busy and preoccupied I was, and how those are the reasons why.
While those are at least partly the reasons, I think the real reason is that I couldn’t write because, ever since I’ve started blogging, I’ve been in a very good place in my life.
Even though there have been really bad phases, they never interfered with my blogging psyche (is that a thing?).
I’ve always blogged about this happy stuff, funny and entertaining stuff.

I’ve come across as this confident girl who knows her shit even when she doesn’t know it. (I mean, I think so..?)

Suddenly though- and this is going to sound extremely dramatic- my entire life has fallen apart.

That’s true.
I have lots of stuff to figure out (which I hope I’m doing in the correct manner).
I’m in a place where I’ve never been before.
I’ve been kicked out of my comfort zone and I can’t complain because I know this is necessary.
I need to stop being complacent. I have quite possibly been complacent all my life.
But ‘complacent’ is a very negative word, maybe it was just ignorance coupled with a teeny bit of complacency? I don’t really know.

Anyway, I might write more about all that later- it’s too vast a topic to be talking about as digression.

The point is, because of all of that, I haven’t been feeling confident about anything in my life right now.
I have nothing that I can take for granted.
When my own thoughts are so jumbled, how am I supposed to post them on my blog for the world to read?!?

I need to be in a happy place to be writing anything.
I can’t write about sad or depressing things. About my own life or even fiction, I think.
That’s the epiphany, basically.
To summarise it in two parts:
1. I am in a completely weird state of mind right now, a place I’ve never been before, because of which I can’t write.
2. I can only write about happy, nice things. I cannot write about pain and sadness.
Also, I cannot write when I’m sad (this isn’t exactly true, but for now, it’s good enough)
Why I am like that is a completely different and long story for another day.

So yes, now that I have figured this out maybe I can work it out and make some real progress.
Hopefully I’ll get back to blogging soon because I honestly love it and do not want to quit.

Random Ramblings #4: Doppelgangers

Doppelgangers are scary shit, man!

Yes. That’s how I’d like to start this post. Because that is what I realized the other day.
Earlier, I used to think the concept of doppelgangers was funny.
To begin with, I refused to believe that doppelgangers could look so much like some other person. Maybe they’d only remind you of somebody- but not actually look like them, right?

Needless to say, I had never seen anyone who was a spitting image of somebody I knew.
(Celebrity doppelgangers don’t really count)

All that changed a few weeks ago.

I happened to find a doppelganger of one of my friends.
We used to be really good friends earlier but I guess we fell apart in the usual way, and the story’s got dust on every page.

(10 points to whoever gets that song reference!)
(Coincidentally, the next-to-next line is “I see your face in every crowd” and this post is about a doppelganger. Wow! These kinda things never fail to amuse me)

Have you thought about doppelgangers though? Have you really thought about them?

A doppelganger is this person who looks like someone you know (and are perhaps really close to) but he/she is a completely different person and they have no idea about their doppelgangerism (I needed a word like that to express what I meant, but I don’t fancy myself a Shakespeare.)

They consider you to be strangers and have no clue about the kind of impact they could be having on your life right then.
And therefore, if you happen to look (or rather, if they happen to catch you looking) at them a little longer than it’s socially acceptable to look at strangers before it’s considered outright staring, they think you’re either
a) weird
b) interested in them
or both.

And you are, in a way, interested in them. You’d like to know what they’re like. If they have the same habits as the person they doppelgang (maybe I do fancy myself as Shakespeare- going around inventing all these words!) or if looks are the only thing they have in common with the doppelgangee (It’s official!)

If you’re looking at them from a distance; perhaps sitting in an extremely unstimulating and mind numbing seminar (thus giving you loads of time to muse about the way your life is going- how it usually starts- and then about Coco Chanel’s birthdate and the Fermi’s Paradox), you also start analysing your relationship with the original friend/ acquaintance (or, as I so eloquently put it,the doppelgangee).
What could’ve gone wrong?
Did we both really just get busy or maybe we just stopped trying to put any efforts into the friendship?

Were we just lazy or were we simply not interested any more?
Whose fault was it (if anybody’s)?
Why can’t people stay friends forever?
Why is it that we lose more friends than we gain? (Or do we? What you think readers??)

Should you, perhaps, try once again?
Is it worth the effort?

But you don’t want to come across as a desperate friendless person…

Then you look at the doppelganger again and somehow remember the happy memories with your friend.
Maybe it’s worth a try.
Okay then! Youve made up your mind- You’ll go home and call/ email/ message your friend.

You’ve come to a decision.
You’ve decided to do something that, up until that morning, you had no idea you would decide to do. (The particular friend wasn’t even on your mind!)

The doppelganger helped you make a decision.
The consequences are as yet unknown, but whatever!

Now, the question is, what do you do with the doppelganger?

Do you thank him/ her?

(That would just be too much to explain)

Do you simply go over and tell them how much they resemble your friend?

(Too much to explain again.
And they probably don’t care.
And if you show them a picture, they’ll think they look nothing like your friend)

Do you just have a conversation and leave the whole doppelganger part out and perhaps become friends (but mostly not) and that’s it?

Or….

Do you do nothing about it and go home? Because it’s not like they’ll wonder about you. They’ll be strangers forever and well, maybe it’s best that way.
Perhaps it was just a sign from the universe and you were supposed to take it and move on…

Random Ramblings #2: What does that say about you?

Often you’re sitting at home and you start to wonder about how you’ll be moving out one of these days.
Sure, there’s at least half a decade left before that happens, but that doesn’t stop you from wondering anyway.

Mostly you are just excited to go out there and get a life: Taste the newfound freedom, create your own lifestyle, be responsible, make the world your oyster, discover new people and also new things about yourself..

But occasionally you also take the other train of thought.
You wonder what you will miss about here, about home.

Will it be your friends, your family?

What if you realize it’s neither?
What if, after racking your brain really hard about things you will miss, you think “Yeah… I think I’m gonna miss the perfect placement of the showerhead in my bathroom” and “I’m also gonna miss having the small place below my study desk where I would sit for hours reading my diaries instead of studying”?
What if the things you’d miss about home are just that- things?

What does that say about you?

Random Ramblings #1 – Aren’t writers and scientists pretty much the same really?

Sometimes I wonder why I hate science!
Once upon a time (up until around 5 years ago) I really liked it.
To the extent that I wanted to be a scientist.

Because back then (not until 5 years ago of course, a lot before that- say 7-8 years ago) I thought scientists were the real learners. I thought they were the kind of people who learnt a lot about everything, gained all kinds of knowledge- I still think that but now I know that they aren’t the only ones.
Writers have to do the same too.

If you think about it, writers and scientists have pretty similar jobs.
They are supposed to observe their environments, learn the procedures of how things work, take note of the little things, be a little eccentric (aah yes! That’s a trait of geniuses, isn’t it?) and then implement all of what they have learnt and create something new, something that hasn’t existed before.
What I love the most about their learning is that they do not exclude anything from their studies, nothing is really “out of syllabus”.
A writer should know about fashion, but he/she should also know about criminal law- because they could end up writing a suspense thriller with the background of the fashion industry. Sure, they could consult experts in the field but having basic knowledge to come up with the plot in the first place is essential.
Something similar holds true in case of scientists as well.
Obviously there are a lot of professions out there who do this kind of thing, and there are like thousands of branches and genres and subfields of science and writing that people specialize in.
But the general idea remains the same.

Now whenever I think about it, I always come to the conclusion that maybe I wouldn’t have made such a bad scientist either.
As for my passion for writing, maybe I would’ve been a sci-fi writer.
Or maybe I’d be a female Hank Green- writing environmental blogs as well as modern adaptations of Jane Austen novels. Basically I’d not fare badly- or so I think.

But I suppose it is easy for me to romanticize science now– now that I don’t have to learn it (it has been more than 2 years- and I can’t really say I miss it). When I did learn it though, physics was pretty much beyond me- electromagnetics and stuff like that, I never understood any of it.
So maybe it wasn’t my thing after all… but well, musings are called musings for a reason.

P.S. I’m very optimistically calling this post “Random Ramblings #1″ hoping that since I ramble a lot, this’d become a new section/ feature on my blog. But all my plans have this amazing tendency to fall apart. So for all we know this could be the first and only Random Ramblings post you see, or funnily enough there could be too many of those and not much of others- the falling apart works both ways.

But here’s to hoping it works out well, because hope lives on, right?

It feels so wonderful to sit inside…

 

It feels so wonderful to sit inside a dimly lit room in the morning hours when it is raining outside. It doesn’t matter that you are supposed to be working. The sound of the rain falling to the ground, washing away all the dust that has settled on the leaves of trees and also the roads and buildings after a hot three months of summer.

Sure, you could curl up with a hot cup of coffee and a wonderful book, but it is not necessary; the rains are enjoyable even if you are solving a few accounting problems.

You feel inspired, fresh and renewed: Quite like the trees outside the window to your left, and the rains haven’t even touched you really, to have the same kind of effect.

You are bursting with creative energy, you feel like writing something- not typing away at the laptop but taking out your favourite spiral notebook and your new pencil and writing and writing, listening to the scratching sound the lead makes on the paper while you concentrate on forming the next words in your mind. How beautiful it is!

You can sit like this for hour marveling at the beauty of the rains- but the mere thought of stepping out wearing a sticky plasticky raincoat into the dirty mud makes you shudder!!!

Funny how it is the nostalgic scent of wet earth in the confines of your own home but germ-infested mud as soon as you’re out… A change of perspective can do so much.

Well, I’d better get back to Accountancy!

 

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