Because randomness is the way to go! ;)

Posts tagged ‘Rambling’

A Story About You

A Blast of Random… Aah! Which one was that again?

Wasn’t it the one where the girl rambles a lot?
Well at least she’s funny!
Not funny enough to have paused the cat video though…
*sigh* Might as well see what she has to say now.

Okay… So she’s saying this isn’t her official comeback post.
That’ll come around a week later.
Hmm… Alright…

This is just a post to ask us how we all are doing.
She wants to know what’s up with us…
She wants us to comment on this post telling her the most interesting thing that happened to us recently.

“Or… or…” she says, “You could tell me the most exciting thing you’re looking forward to- something you’ve been waiting for.”
She has been looking forward to a lot of things too and she’ll be telling us about them soon.
She wants to give us an opportunity to make this post about us.
That sounds fun!
We rarely get a chance to get a word in edgeways on this blog anyway.

Now we have a chance to ramble here, for a change.

Well, we’d be idiots not to comment immediately!

But really guys, do tell me what’s up with all of you. I’ve missed blogging.

P.S. Yes, the title is a reference to the thirteenth podcast of Welcome to Night Vale. High five to those who got it! 😀

Random Ramblings #5: How do I pick a genre for writing without having a minor panic attack?

Lately I’ve been wondering a lot about myself: what kind of a person am I? What would I like to be perceived as? What am I actually perceived as? etc.
Writing about anything helps me understand the thing better, and gives me the clarity that is much-needed right now.

I’m trying to do this methodically and focussing on figuring out only one aspect of my life at a time.
Since my writing- style, genre, and all of that- is what got me thinking about this whole mess, I thought that’s as good a place to start as any.
In this particular post, I’m only writing about genre- that’s the part that has been bothering me the most.
I’ve always wanted to write a novel.
Ever since I learnt what a novel is, I’ve wanted to write one myself.
Therefore, as a kid, I directly started trying to write one.
With no knowledge about anything whatsoever.
As I started reading more and more books though, I realized that:
A. It’s not so easy.
B. Nobody just writes a book. They write one type of a book.
They either write for children or for teenagers for adults. They write fiction or non-fiction.
Then there’s various categories in those known as genres.
I realized that I’d have to figure out where exactly I’m trying to fit my story in. For that, I’d have to read a lot more than I had read back then.
I would also have to get better at writing a lot, and I’m glad that the blog helped me with that.

For a couple of years after various failed attempts at trying to write a whole, complete novel, I unknowingly stopped trying to write a novel and focussed on reading a lot and writing a lot, in general.

Now, I’ve been blogging for a while, have read a lot of books (lot more than I had when I started out, at least. I’ve still not read enough- but any number will never be enough) and I’m 18 years old, an official adult who wouldn’t change her mind about things quite as often as teenage-me did.
So I began wondering what’s stopping me from writing a book now.
Technical reasons such as lack of time and motivation aside, I realized that the only thing stopping me is my inability to take decisions.
I can think of 4-5 stories (just story ideas of course, none of them have a proper story line or a plot yet) that I have thought of writing, but I’ve never taken any efforts to actually write them.
Because I didn’t know which one of those to write.
You see, they’re all of different genres.
One is YA, another could be considered Chick-lit perhaps. One is a mystery/ psychological thriller, one’s a Sci-fi or fantasy, or something.
I don’t know which one to write because writing any of those will make me a writer of that genre.
That’s precisely what I don’t want.
I don’t want to be a YA author, or an SF writer.

I read all of those genres (I have read a few books in each of them, at the very least), therefore I want to write all of them.

J K Rowling first wrote Harry Potter but then she thought she wanted to write a mystery series so she did that under a pen name.
One of the reasons was, of course, that she didn’t want the pressure of writing something as brilliant as Harry Potter but another was also probably the fact that she was venturing into a new genre.
I don’t know any authors who’ve written a lot of different genres- they stick to their own. Sure, they experiment with the sub-genres and stuff, but I don’t know anybody who first wrote chick-lit and then switched to Sci-fi (something extreme like that, I mean).

[Actually, while we’re on the topic, if you do know about authors who’ve done that, please mention some of them in the comments]
Do any of you face the same problem? (I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one)

Everybody I know who writes, also reads a lot.
And they read a lot of different stuff.
And are inspired by all of it to create something of their own.

Most of them have already started writing their first novel, some of them have had it published as well.
My question to you is, how do you know that this is the story you want to write?
Does it depend on your style of writing?
Or the genre you read the most?
If you’ve already started writing, say, a romance novel, aren’t you scared that someday if you choose to write a mystery, you would already be stereotyped as a romance writer and nobody would take your mystery novel seriously?

I realize that this problem could be (temporarily) solved if I tried writing all the genres that I wish to write and see what works for me.
But I get the feeling that that’ll be even worse… if I do end up finding out what I can and cannot write, all the genres that I’m hopeless at writing will always make me feel inadequate as a writer.
The thought that I may close off those metaphorical gates to writing other genres because of my inability to write them scares me even more than not knowing which I should write first.

I don’t even know where I’m going with all of this.
I don’t specifically want suggestions to solve the problem, but I’d like to know your opinions and thoughts on the topic.
Basically I’m just hoping to have a discussion about the topic with some of you and gaining some insight of some sort.
Any kind of responses are welcome.
You could tell me that I’m stupid and a coward and am only making excuses instead of actually doing any writing (the thought did cross my mind too) and that’d be fine with me.
Because, even if that is the case, I’d like for a few people to explicitly tell me so.

French The Llama! I’m Forgetting French!

I’m forgetting French!!
This isn’t exactly a sudden realization but tonight while thinking about the implications of it, I was so overwhelmed and horrified that I had to put it into concrete words.

I had been seeing the signs for a while.
The other day, a friend of mine sent us a really cute picture of herself and in response I started typing “Ma petite …” and then blank! My mind went blank!
I couldn’t think of the French word for “girl”.
I racked my brains and with increasing alarm as the cursor kept blinking in front of me, I realized that I didn’t remember!
I really did not remember.
I tried to calm down and thought… okay, surely I haven’t forgotten… *deep breath* I know that the French word for boy is “garçon” but what in the world is girl?
Then I thought for a while (believe me when I say it took me at least two whole panic filled minutes) and thankfully remembered that it was “fille”.


Last night (the aforementioned anecdote long forgotten) I tried having an imaginary conversation in French in my head. It was supposed to be one sided, and I was supposed to be speaking on the phone with some random Francophone.
That time too I realized that I couldn’t translate most of the stuff that I wanted to say, or in fact any of the stuff!
So all I kept saying was “Oui.. Oui!”
And then again “Oui. Je le sais.”
*long pause*
“Non! Mais tu ne comprends pas!!! C’est très importante”
*long pause*
“D’accord. Oui. Au revoir. Merci”

And that was it.
It wasn’t even a real thing. I was so ashamed of myself!


Tonight I consciously decided to address the issue and not procrastinate about it.
I freaked out instead.

See- I’m not sure you understand. French was one of my things.
I was the girl in school who scored the highest in the subject and loved the language with a passion.
(I was also a bit of a pompous ass when it came to other people’s pronunciations but that’s not really the point here.)
I was planning to do atleast a Bachelor’s Degree in French (back when things were different).
I settled for learning it as a language in college for 2 years.

I remember an incident from two years ago as well, and that was very nightmarish too.
So back then I wasn’t aware of the fact that I actually needed to practise French by myself during the holidays… and therefore during the 4 month vacation we got I didn’t study a word of French.
Fast forward to the beginning of the Academic year where one day I sat with my head in my hand racking my brain thinking about what the word “pain” meant in English.
I was horrified. How could I forget!?!?
Then my French teacher smacked me on the head and told me it’s “bread”.
I was so ashamed, I felt like killing myself right at that moment.

(And while we’re on the topic, it wouldn’t do to not mention my French teacher who is absolutely fantastique!
I mean, her French teaching skills and love for the language is just a part of it. As a person too, she is very inspiring and all-round amazing! I should maybe write about all that, but aah… you know me. No promises).

After that I revised everything again and then I knew French but it just wasn’t the same. I don’t think it ever will be.
Because the first things we forget are not the grammar rules or spellings of words but those little nuances of the language or the tricks we made up to remember something. That’s true for me at least.
For the next two years I studied French determined to take it siriusly and never forget anything and I did it, for the most part.
I scored 98 on 100 in my French exam and also won a French competition or two.

But after that, full stop.
Even if I wanted to I couldn’t have learnt French.
I have a lot of other stuff to study.
If I have holidays I mostly just spent all my time reading books (English ones), or watching movies (mostly English) (if they’re not English, they have English subtitles) or generally doing anything to improve my English rather than French.
This year, when I had a month long holiday in June I decided to apprentice at my French teacher’s classes.
I’d teach French to all the little kids, the basic stuff.
And it worked out fine, for like two weeks (they all called me Mademoiselle and everything) but then I couldn’t do it anymore; my holiday was cut short, I had to go visit my aunt (obligations, obligations…) and yeah, that was the end of it.

All of that hardly matters now because I never have holidays, and never will.
*bitter laugh*

What do I dooooo?!?!  😥
I don’t wanna lose a part of myself like this.

And don’t give me all that BS about “If you really love something and want to do it, you’ll stop making excuses and find time for it. And if you can’t then maybe you don’t deserve to do it after all”
Funnily enough I’d be the first one to say that- and I still tell myself the same.
But slowly I’m realizing that sometimes it really and truly isn’t possible to do it all.

Like, let’s do a rough calculation.
A day has 24 hours.
I spend 7 hours (if those many) sleeping.
10 hours in classes.

So these 17 hours are not at all an option.
Then there’s say at least one hour that I spend travelling to and from my classes, getting ready etc.
So 24-18= 6 hours.

I have all of 6 hours to cram everything in (and notice how I haven’t deducted my dinner time or bathing time or anything of that sort from these 6 hours).

And that’s simply the hours we counted, my energy levels and adrenaline are at an all time low.
I come home and I’m like:


Also, there’s homework. Whether I like it or not.
Now you tell me, how am I supposed to maintain a blog, read a book or two every month (Ha! I remember a time when I read those many in less than a week), study, socialize and all the while try to keep my sanity in all of 6 hours a day?!?!?!


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