Because randomness is the way to go! ;)

Posts tagged ‘Ramblings’

I’m going onions over here

I wrote this two weeks ago but did not post it for whatever reasons, one of them being that I thought it was kinda silly and onions don’t really sting that much, do they? A few minutes ago, all I did was cut 4 onions in half. That’s all- in half.

Yes. They do.
They do sting that much.

A lot more than what I have described.

So here you go:

Last night my mother left me alone and I was forced to cook food, to ensure my survival.
Invariably, as so many of them do, the dish I cooked required me to chop onions.

Now see, I don’t really have an opinion on the chopping of onions. It is one of those utterly irrelevant things I do in my life.
Which is why I never even have any gum on hand whenever I am faced with the daunting task of cutting an onion so I can devour its little fleshy pieces which will add taste to my food.
(Chewing gum helps you not cry. Mad science, isn’t it?)

I go through life not thinking about chopping onions.

Unless I’m doing it, and then it won’t let me think of anything else, as much as I’d like to.

Years of onion-chopping had prepared me for the onslaught and pain that would follow. 
What I always underestimate though, is how quickly after you let the knife touch the onion, your eyes start stinging. 
One stroke to the onion, and the tears flow like a sword was swung through Ned Stark’s head.

All the tears compelled me to reevaluate every single one of my life choices leading upto this point in my life.

And then, I couldn’t help but wonder about the life choices of the person, the first human being on this earth, who thought eating onions would be a good idea.

No but really, think about this:

Here’s a small round object that I found after digging up the ground.

(That’s not shady enough already)

It came from a plant, so maybe it is edible. From my previous experience I have realised that not all of the things I find from plants tend to be edible.

Let me try to get rid of this annoying and crackling skin that’s covered with dirt, maybe there’s a soft fleshy part inside.

Oh yes indeed there is….

Aah let me break this into smaller pieces to facilitate their entry into my mouth.

(I’m assuming the person wasn’t so stupid- or adventurous- as to literally bite into a thing that nobody he knew had ever eaten, so far in his life)

Oh my God!!! My eyes!! 
They’re burning!!!

Water is flowing through them and I don’t like this one bit!!! 
Oh no oh no oh no!

Let me go splash some water on my eyes and hope that they survive this, which is, and shall forever be, the worst experience of my life!

*drops onion pieces on the ground and runs to fetch water, from like a stream or whatever*

*comes back feeling slightly better but not really, because HAVE YOU EVER CUT AN ONION? THE TRAUMA LASTS FOR MONTHS*

Aah yes. 
My eyes feel considerably better. Can’t say the same about my heart though. 
This experience will haunt me for several full moons.

Just holding these pieces of new, round object have caused me to break down like I never have before.

*slowly sits on the ground near the fallen onion pieces*

You know what I’m gonna do?

*picks one up*

I’m gonna pop it into my mouth! 
Let’s see how that goes!

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In other news, I googled 'sexy onion' just to see if anything came up, and I was not disappointed!

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An Epiphany… Of sorts!

I just had an epiphany – if I can call it that.
So, noticed how I haven’t been blogging for a while now?
I think I finally figured out the real reason.

There was supposed to be a comeback post (consider this it, BTW) where I’d tell you exactly how busy and preoccupied I was, and how those are the reasons why.
While those are at least partly the reasons, I think the real reason is that I couldn’t write because, ever since I’ve started blogging, I’ve been in a very good place in my life.
Even though there have been really bad phases, they never interfered with my blogging psyche (is that a thing?).
I’ve always blogged about this happy stuff, funny and entertaining stuff.

I’ve come across as this confident girl who knows her shit even when she doesn’t know it. (I mean, I think so..?)

Suddenly though- and this is going to sound extremely dramatic- my entire life has fallen apart.

That’s true.
I have lots of stuff to figure out (which I hope I’m doing in the correct manner).
I’m in a place where I’ve never been before.
I’ve been kicked out of my comfort zone and I can’t complain because I know this is necessary.
I need to stop being complacent. I have quite possibly been complacent all my life.
But ‘complacent’ is a very negative word, maybe it was just ignorance coupled with a teeny bit of complacency? I don’t really know.

Anyway, I might write more about all that later- it’s too vast a topic to be talking about as digression.

The point is, because of all of that, I haven’t been feeling confident about anything in my life right now.
I have nothing that I can take for granted.
When my own thoughts are so jumbled, how am I supposed to post them on my blog for the world to read?!?

I need to be in a happy place to be writing anything.
I can’t write about sad or depressing things. About my own life or even fiction, I think.
That’s the epiphany, basically.
To summarise it in two parts:
1. I am in a completely weird state of mind right now, a place I’ve never been before, because of which I can’t write.
2. I can only write about happy, nice things. I cannot write about pain and sadness.
Also, I cannot write when I’m sad (this isn’t exactly true, but for now, it’s good enough)
Why I am like that is a completely different and long story for another day.

So yes, now that I have figured this out maybe I can work it out and make some real progress.
Hopefully I’ll get back to blogging soon because I honestly love it and do not want to quit.

No Thank You!

Once upon a time, only about two years ago, a guy and I were talking.
It was a good conversation.
And somewhere in the middle of the conversation, the guy said to me that I spoke English really well.
(I’m not that good really. Especially not at talking. He was probably- unconsciously- referring to that time I edited a letter we were supposed to send to someone or something— I’m fuzzy on the details.)

And here’s the thing, I have this habit that whenever somebody tells me something I already know or something somebody has told me before, I tend to tell them that.
I say “I know”.

Sometimes, if I’m excited about the topic, it’s the Monica style “I know!”
(who am I kidding? I’m always excited!)

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It is not that I want to be rude, or act like a know-it-all or something.
It is usually that when I have acquired the knowledge about something, I tend to ignore those things when I see/ hear about them a second time. Or a third.
Either I brush it off with an “I Know” or my brain simply doesn’t register that fact a second time (Totally unrelated to this post, I had begun to write a post about this entire phenomenon, but I’m just too bored to explain it. Because I already know about it, so I don’t want to actually write about it and explain it again.
Also, other reasons).
It’s just a thing with me.

(No, I’m not giving an excuse. Just rambling about it for some reason.
But what’s new there?)

I have been, on quite a few occasions, told that my English language related skills are good.
It is probably relative. Because I’m usually around people who’ve never heard of a diphthong (*insert a thong joke here*).

So, getting back to the topic at hand, guess what I said to the guy after he complimented me?

I said “I know”.
Which was fine. Because I didn’t even realize it. Nor did he, probably.
Then I said to him that he spoke English really well too (which he actually did, I wasn’t just saying it because he complimented me).
And then he smiled and said “Thank you!”
He looked genuinely happy that I complimented him.
I’m also pretty sure I wasn’t the first one to do that.

After that, I kept thinking to myself what an idiot I was.
What kind of a person responds to a compliment with an “I know”
A “Thank you” should come out of my mouth automatically right?

I still regret not saying Thank You to the guy and still feel like the biggest idiot in the whole wide world.

He quite possibly definitely doesn’t remember the conversation.
Heck! He probably doesn’t remember me!

So is this going anywhere?
You bet it is!

Last night, another guy complimented me… he said something similar.

Actually, wait let me quote him.

“Yes, I thought you were intelligent.
And sufficiently well-read”

I didn’t reply.

No wait! I don’t think you get it.

I DIDN’T REPLY!!!!!!!

Oh yes!
And now, since the last 24 hours (pretty much) it’s been bothering me.

So here’s what I decided, I’ll go and say “Thank you” to him.
I’ll explain what for.
He’ll think I’m weird.
Which is okay.
But I need to do it.

1. Why did I write this post?
2. What has any of this got to do with all you readers out there?

Answers:
1. Because I’m a procrastinator— that’s what I do.
2. Nothing, obviously. I have no idea why you even read my posts.

Before I go though, I must say this (Nope. Not trying to procrastinate even further. I mean it) :

It feels so good to be rambling on the blog (of course I’m talking about myself, don’t know about you guys).
Lately I’ve been doing too many posts that were either pre-planned or pre-written and had something to do with something else.
After ages today, I simply started typing, was done with that, and am gonna hit “Publish” and this post is not in relation to anything I’ll ever mention on the blog again. It is purely random.

So there’s that!

Random Ramblings #4: Doppelgangers

Doppelgangers are scary shit, man!

Yes. That’s how I’d like to start this post. Because that is what I realized the other day.
Earlier, I used to think the concept of doppelgangers was funny.
To begin with, I refused to believe that doppelgangers could look so much like some other person. Maybe they’d only remind you of somebody- but not actually look like them, right?

Needless to say, I had never seen anyone who was a spitting image of somebody I knew.
(Celebrity doppelgangers don’t really count)

All that changed a few weeks ago.

I happened to find a doppelganger of one of my friends.
We used to be really good friends earlier but I guess we fell apart in the usual way, and the story’s got dust on every page.

(10 points to whoever gets that song reference!)
(Coincidentally, the next-to-next line is “I see your face in every crowd” and this post is about a doppelganger. Wow! These kinda things never fail to amuse me)

Have you thought about doppelgangers though? Have you really thought about them?

A doppelganger is this person who looks like someone you know (and are perhaps really close to) but he/she is a completely different person and they have no idea about their doppelgangerism (I needed a word like that to express what I meant, but I don’t fancy myself a Shakespeare.)

They consider you to be strangers and have no clue about the kind of impact they could be having on your life right then.
And therefore, if you happen to look (or rather, if they happen to catch you looking) at them a little longer than it’s socially acceptable to look at strangers before it’s considered outright staring, they think you’re either
a) weird
b) interested in them
or both.

And you are, in a way, interested in them. You’d like to know what they’re like. If they have the same habits as the person they doppelgang (maybe I do fancy myself as Shakespeare- going around inventing all these words!) or if looks are the only thing they have in common with the doppelgangee (It’s official!)

If you’re looking at them from a distance; perhaps sitting in an extremely unstimulating and mind numbing seminar (thus giving you loads of time to muse about the way your life is going- how it usually starts- and then about Coco Chanel’s birthdate and the Fermi’s Paradox), you also start analysing your relationship with the original friend/ acquaintance (or, as I so eloquently put it,the doppelgangee).
What could’ve gone wrong?
Did we both really just get busy or maybe we just stopped trying to put any efforts into the friendship?

Were we just lazy or were we simply not interested any more?
Whose fault was it (if anybody’s)?
Why can’t people stay friends forever?
Why is it that we lose more friends than we gain? (Or do we? What you think readers??)

Should you, perhaps, try once again?
Is it worth the effort?

But you don’t want to come across as a desperate friendless person…

Then you look at the doppelganger again and somehow remember the happy memories with your friend.
Maybe it’s worth a try.
Okay then! Youve made up your mind- You’ll go home and call/ email/ message your friend.

You’ve come to a decision.
You’ve decided to do something that, up until that morning, you had no idea you would decide to do. (The particular friend wasn’t even on your mind!)

The doppelganger helped you make a decision.
The consequences are as yet unknown, but whatever!

Now, the question is, what do you do with the doppelganger?

Do you thank him/ her?

(That would just be too much to explain)

Do you simply go over and tell them how much they resemble your friend?

(Too much to explain again.
And they probably don’t care.
And if you show them a picture, they’ll think they look nothing like your friend)

Do you just have a conversation and leave the whole doppelganger part out and perhaps become friends (but mostly not) and that’s it?

Or….

Do you do nothing about it and go home? Because it’s not like they’ll wonder about you. They’ll be strangers forever and well, maybe it’s best that way.
Perhaps it was just a sign from the universe and you were supposed to take it and move on…

On Procrastination and Rambling

The two things I’m really great at, aren’t I?
Also the two reasons I haven’t written in a while.

Procrastination is just another kind of laziness.
But since it has its own legit word and so many people proudly proclaim (alliteration alert) that they do it (declaring that they put the “pro” in “procrastination”) (And yes, I’m one of them) I wasn’t considering it to be a sirius problem.
In fact, I wasn’t considering it to be a problem at all.
I used to quite enjoy the mindless wandering around the internet reading “10 Mind blowing facts you didn’t know about…” and taking quizzes like “Which Disney Priness Are You?”

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I do really like her!

Lately I’m starting to get sick of it.
You wouldn’t believe me if I told you about the sheer amount of work that needs to be done- and I haven’t done.
Some of the things are so tiny, they don’t even matter, like messaging a friend and asking her about that thing that’s been on my mind and she might know something about.
Some of them are important things.
And then there’s the stuff that I’ve given myself a deadline for- like writing a blog post about so-and-so topic for instance.
But I simply don’t do them.
After a while it doesn’t matter.
I don’t have to do them anymore.

I don’t think that counts as procrastination.
The not doing of something at all and it suddenly just disappearing from the To-Do.

I’m not exactly sure why I rambled on about it but I needed to. It has been on my mind too much and it has been bothering me.

That’s another thing- Rambling.

A while ago I realized that I rambled too much.
Out of everything I ever said/ wrote, little or nothing constituted anything of much importance.

Since then I decided to avoid doing it- as much as possible.
Since then I’ve been trying to write blog posts that actually say something of importance, or something that might help someone or, quite simply, at least prove to be a good read.
As you might notice, not only have I not succeeded in writing any such thing but I have pretty amazingly succeeded in not writing anything on the blog at all.

A few days ago I again realized how useful even the rambling was- because back then I was completely incapable of that as well.
Suddenly I realized that, while not something to be really proud of or something to especially flaunt, I did have a gift.
That of being able to put into words everything I wished to say.
Words are simply flowing when I ramble (duh! That’s why it’s called rambling), I need not think a lot about what exactly I wish to convey when I’m on a roll.
And it’s a good feeling- that rambling.
Some of the people I know who write can’t do that.
They say they need to think a lot.
They feel like there’s a barrier in their head which slowly transmits each sentence to the front of their brain (writers’ block? I’m not sure- because that isn’t a permanent state of mind, is it? And slow writing isn’t writers’ block, obviously).

When I couldn’t write a word, that’s when I realized how much that rambling was helping; because if nothing,I was writing something, and at least 9% of it all turned out to be halfway decent.

And funny thing that happened is, because I didn’t allow myself to ramble (as much as I could help it) I ended up talking too much where otherwise I’d say only half the things I did.

So here’s what I learnt from my rambling session today:

• Find out ways to stop procrastinating- without googling “How not to procrastinate” (God! What do I do though, if not that?)
• Encourage healthy and productive rambling (yeah, even I’m not exactly sure what I mean by that)

I know there’s a thing called “productive procrastination” as well, but I’d rather just do the things that I’m supposed to do.

P.S.
When I said I ended up not writing at all, it wasn’t exactly true.
I wrote a bit of fiction here and there. I also wrote a few things regarding how I felt about a few things.
But none of the short stories are complete and most of the feelings stuff is only meant to begin with “Dear Diary” and stay there, and hence I can’t share it here.
(Although really, this little something I wrote is so good I almost want to share it.)

The wait is too long

What do you write about when you have nothing to write about?
Or alternatively, have a few very interesting things to write about but can’t write about them now, due to various reasons?

I have at least 3 things at the top of my head about which I want to tell all of you.
One of them will have to wait for the next 3 months at least, another for at least one and the third one I’m going to hold back for the duration of this week. Then I will write about it so much that you will have to stop me from doing so.

That still doesn’t solve my problem. At this point in time, I have nothing to say yet I wish to say something.

I feel like all my life I am only waiting for things to happen. (Warning: Possibility of this turning into a dangerously I-am-reflecting-upon-my-life-and-don’t-feel-like-it-is-going-anywhere post.)
 
I could make a long list of things that I’m only waiting and waiting and waiting for…

Okay so let me try and figure out if there are as many things I’m waiting for as I think I am:
(Phew! Danger averted)

1. I’m waiting for the Fault In Our Stars movie.

Who isn’t waiting for that one?

2. I’m waiting for this day to get over quickly because I’m going to (hopefully) go cut my hair in the evening.

3. Scientists to invent waterproof phones, iPads and laptops.

What can I say? All my best ideas come to me only when I’m having a shower and it becomes difficult to remember them all after I come out.

4. Isla and The Happily Ever After by Stephanie Perkins to come out really soon.

Especially after I read the first chapter.
Josh and Isla are awesome!!!!!

5. My aunt to give birth to my little (hopefully) female cousin.

Yeah so the thing is, most of my cousins are boys (not to mention how they are more than half my age- but then I get a cuteness overload when I meet them!)
And my aunt and I both feel like we need a girl in the family now, for these little guys to have a little sister, and so that we can dress her up in cute dresses (all the boys run away at the mention of pink- and the adorable frocks and skirts we see in shops seem like such a waste).

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6. I’m waiting for the movie based on Cecelia Ahern’s book Love, Rosie (or Where Rainbows End) to come out.

It is one of my favourite books. I already talked about that in one of my earlier blogs.
The best part though is the actor who is playing Alex Stewart.

It is- wait for it- SAM CLAFLIN!!!!

Yes Sam Claflin, Finnick Odair Sam Claflin! 😀
I watched the teasers and oh god! He is his usual charming self and that movie will be amazing!!!! 😀

7. I am waiting for my exam to get over in June so I will have a couple of weeks of holiday where I can (guilt free) binge on TV Shows, movies and books!!

I do that all the time but end up feeling guilty for not having studied.

To tell you the truth, I’m waiting for all of my formal education to finally get over so that I can start learning things I really want to.
I try to do that now but studies get in the way all the time.

8. I’m waiting for the new Princess Diaries books and the next book in the Mediator series by Meg Cabot!

Yes! For all you Meg Cabot fans who didn’t know- a whole new Princess Diaries series will be coming out next year!!!!!
Aren’t you excited???

9. I’m waiting for this September so I will finally turn 18 and open my own bank account where I will deposit all my savings.

Yeah I know- not only is that a nerdy thing but others generally get excited about finally being able to drive their own car or something.
Yes I do wish to learn driving as well, but I’m sort of saving up for something.
Something that will happen (if it does) in 2017.
But still, hope is all I have to live on.

(I know I am a nerd because: point 7 and 9!
I am a self-proclaimed nerd. Sorry to say but learning a lot and saving my money actually excites me.)

What have you been waiting for since a very long time?
Let me know in comments. 🙂

What have I been upto? (If you’re curious… or nosy)

My big exams are going on, and as is the tradition with exams, I write instead of studying. (Many a times I feel I could compete with Dan- isnotonfire, yes that one- when it comes to procrastinating. I mean look at me, I’m posting after ages. And I am supposed to love this blogging thing!)

I used to do it in my diary- the writing- but now I don’t write one. And I don’t think it is fair to play with the feelings of my poor diary by being all remember-how-those-good-old-times-were-so-good-and-let’s-try-again one moment and Oh-I-forgot-you-exist the next. That is like sleeping with your ex because you crave the familiarity and bliss and whatever it is that you crave enough to make you want to do something so dumb.

Andbutso the blog has, in some ways, replaced the diary.
So here I am, planning to do what I call writing but the accurate term is, I suppose, rambling.

The thing is, I genuinely missed posting on the blog since the last two weeks. I have been racking my brains to write about something half-way readable. Especially after my previous post which got so many views- Oh my God! I never thought people would like it so much.
And then I did have a few ideas but no time to execute them. (Exams are on, remember?)
Even though I didn’t blog, I did read and write a lot.
So there are a few interesting things I have to mention:

* Eleanor and Park- Rainbow Rowell.

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Drop everything you are doing and read this book. Yes, I do mean everything. This one time I also permit you to quit reading my blog now and just GO READ THE BOOK ALREADY!!!

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If you are still here, it could be one of the following:
1. You’ve read it before, in which case, LEAVE A COMMENT PLEASE- I have some sirius feels we need to discuss.

2. You read it after my recommendation and are back to read the remaining blog, all wide-eyed and sleepy because of course you finished it in one-sitting.
Yes you can thank me later for the recommendation.

3. You ignored my recommendation.
Because-

A. You couldn’t care less about Eleanor and Park (Although really…just go!) 
B. You thought you will first finish reading my post and then go read Eleanor and Park later (Welcome to Procrastinators Anonymous. My name is Sam and I am a procrastinator. I have been putting off coming for the meeting for the last seven and a half months)
C. You feel that my blog post is the ultimate reader’s delight. You are so totally hooked that you literally and physically cannot stop reading further and further. (Oh yes, I know that majority of you belong to this category. Come on now, don’t be shy, just admit it. You obsessively click on the Refresh button when I don’t post anything new. You do, don’t you?)

Anyway, I’ve decide not to get anyone’s hopes very high about it- guilty of doing that with TFiOS… 😦

* Sherlock

No I didn’t mention it earlier but a while ago I started watching a T.V. show for the first time. I chose Sherlock literally because it is very new and small and practically a baby as compared to Doctor Who and all those other shows. I figured that 9 episodes doesn’t require much commitment, and also that if (it was a question of when rather than if, if I’m being honest here) I get too obsessed with it then I can finish it quickly and then join the others waiting with baited breath for the new season to come out instead of watching and watching and watching to get to the end and thus not even studying the little bit that I otherwise would.

Oh yes, starting Sherlock was a calculated move.
A move so calculated that the man himself would approve (Yeah right! Since when did I become one for such dramatic flair anyway?)

So I am yet to watch the last episode of Season 3. In a way, I’m going to be putting it off as much as possible. But then again, I can’t watch it soon enough.
Just today I watched the one before that- John and Mary’s wedding and now I know what people meant when they said that it was awww-inspiring, because it really was.

*sigh*

By the way, ‘The Sign of Three’ is in no way connected to ‘The Sign of Four’. I mean I was so astonished when I realized what it really meant!
And then I laughed for a while at the cleverness of it all.

* Blog post ideas

In the last couple of weeks that I didn’t post, I did a lot of thinking and I came up with something that I think is very exciting.
Let’s pray to God that I do not procrastinate and actually go ahead with those few ideas because if I do get past the initial stage of straining my brain to plan and begin the process of writing them down, I believe they will make an interesting read.
If not, in the very least, I will enjoy writing them so that itself will be worth it, right?
(Thank God it is a rhetorical question because there are chances you guys are gonna say ‘No’)

P.S. Those exams I speak of with dread (actually I haven’t done that. I have had to restrain myself from coming here every night and wailing about me failing the next day’s exam)?

They get over on the 10th of March.
I will leave you with that happy thought. (Happy for me. Ob-viously.)

P.P.S. The ‘Ob-viously’ was the Snape way of saying it, yes. 

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