Remember Cameron Diaz in The Holiday?
She breaks up with her boyfriend and doesn’t shed a tear.
No, she isn’t heartless.
She just can’t cry.
That’s just how she works.
Tears don’t come to her easily. Or, in fact, at all.
Isn’t that a good thing, you ask?
Well, that’s exactly what I wonder.
Crying once in a while is apparently good for your health.
Tears have healing properties.
They clean your eyes and help you see better.
Having a good cry (oxymoron or what?) always makes you feel better by relieving stress and elevating your mood.
Thus tears, it seems, are better out than in.
My dear friend who’s probably bawling her eyes out right now would beg to differ.
Poor thing got her heart broken yesterday and I, as messenger of the bad news, feel too involved to leave her alone.
Usually when my heart breaks, I do not cry. No, I don’t.
If it was me instead of her,I would get over it in a matter of hours.
But it’s her. And it’s different for people like her. Normal people, who are emotionally sensitive.
She was feeling low the whole day yesterday.
I was devastated too.
I lay awake on my bed till 2.30 A.M. (that’s when I wrote the better part of this post too) wishing and hoping I could just cry then and get over it.
But no, I did not cry- my heart was aching, physically, but I couldn’t for the life of me, shed a tear.
All kinds of thoughts and emotions were revolving in my head- guilt, anger, betrayal, loss.
If I had just cried I would be feeling better instantly, I’m sure of that.
But just like Cameron Diaz’ character, crying doesn’t come easily to me either.
Death of fictional characters- my friends cry!
I’m just devastated.
I lie awake in bed all night wishing it hadn’t happened and mourning the loss, but – you guessed it- no tears!
I’d rather just cry anyday. Because not crying doesn’t help matters at all. What happens is, all the emotions get locked into my brain somewhere- waiting to be cried out. But I don’t do that and therefore, everytime there’s a mention of anything related to that- a mere mention- and I feel physically incapable of doing anything for a while.
For example, and I’m actually risking my own state of my mind by thinking of it and then mentioning it here, but Fred’s death is something I’ll never get over.
No one will, actually!
But at least other people cried. Because of my inability to do so, every mention of Fred, even the happy, joking and, more importantly, alive Fred does something to my insides. They squirm.
And well… I can’t go on!
I just… I don’t know.. I’m so depressed right now. And my heart goes out to that friend!
I wish her well.. I know you are reading this.
And believe me, you are a wonderful person! No need to let petty things get into the way of your happiness.
Think of the bigger picture!
May the odds be ever in your favor!