Do you remember that scene in the rom-com “27 Dresses” where Jane (Katherine Heigl) and Kevin/Malcolm Doyle (James Marsden) are stranded at a bar after her car breaks down and it is raining heavily?
Yes, exactly the one in which Jane dances on a table top to “Benny and the Jets”.
Their conversation before that goes something like this-
Jane: There’s gotta be one thing about weddings that you like.
Kevin: Open bar.
Kevin:[thinks for a moment] All right. So when the bride comes in and she makes her giant, grand entrance, I like to glance back at the poor bastard getting married. ‘Cause even though I think he’s an idiot for willingly entering into the last legal form of slavery… I don’t know, he always looks really, really happy. And, for some reason, I…[notices Jane giving him a weird look]What the hell are you looking at me like that for?
Jane: Are you shitting me right now?
Jane: That’s my favourite part. Oh, my God. We have something in common.
Kevin: Yes. Well, statistically that was bound to happen.
That is a lovely scene, but my favourite scene in the whole movie is right after their “Benny and the Jets” dance when he helps her get down and says, “I cried like a baby at the Keller wedding” and they start kissing.
For all of you who do not know what I am talking about since, sadly you haven’t watched the movie; it is like, Kevin writes wedding announcements in a newspaper under a pseudonym (Malcolm Doyle) and Jane is a huge fan. And sometime earlier in the movie Jane tells Kevin that the Keller wedding story was her favourite but he says he doesn’t remember it since he acts all cynical about romance and weddings. But then he later confesses to her that he is, in fact, nothing like that and he cried at the wedding too. And thus they fall in love.
The thing common in these two scenes is that both Kevin and Jane who actually kind of hate each other instantly “click” because of the things they have in common.
I guess what most of you are thinking is, ‘Oh c’mon! Stuff like that happens only in movies. Never in real life.’
But really, are you sure this has never happened to you? Have you never really connected with someone?
I definitely have. In fact, there are so many instances where I and some of my friends have been in sync with our talks.
We have totally connected.
In fact, believe it or not, there is a friend of mine who completes my sentences while talking and I do hers, with whom I joke that we are on the same wavelength. But it isn’t really a joke, it is very much true. Most of the time we know what the other is thinking and then sometimes it happens that while talking in a group, she says something and I am like ‘that is exactly what I was about to say’- and by that I mean the exact words down to the tone of voice or punctuation depending upon the mode of communication. In fact, I blame her for the excessive use of “Exactly!”, since I have to say it at least once in every conversation that features her!
So what is it that makes us connect with some people and not others?
What helps us build a good rapport with people?
I’m not exactly known for my phenomenal scientific skills, but I’ve read somewhere that when brain cells want to connect with each other, they synchronize their activity, like the cells literally tune into each other’s wavelength. How mind-blowing is that?
‘Very’ is the word you are looking for! 😉
So maybe I and my friend don’t really have a telepathic or psychic link that actually connects us.
Maybe it’s just because we know each other a while now (four years) and therefore have developed a thorough understanding of the way our brains work, but that in itself is an achievement since I don’t have such a relationship with all of my friends, even the ones I’ve known longer.
And then there are others whom I’ve met quite recently and yet we seem to have established a small connection of that sort already! There is one such friend I can think of right now.
What’s more? We (the recent one and I) both decided to blog about this topic together and she just published hers a little before me. Here’s it– if you are interested!